A Moment of Solidarity
by mysticxf
Summary: Sawyer catches Jack in a moment of weakness.


Lost and its characters belong to JJ Abrams and crew, I'm just borrowing for some non-profit fun. Trying my hand at Sawyer again. Hope it works. Enjoy. (Timeline – beginning of season one.)

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Lost – A Moment of Solidarity  
By Mystic  
September 14th 2005

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Doc didn't sleep on the beach often, so when he did, people took notice. Mostly, they bothered him about band aids and rashes and stupid shit that don't mean nothing important. Sometimes I actually feel sorry for the guy. I mean, who in the hell wants to hear you got a rash running up your crotch from using the wrong leaves to wipe your ass? And you can see it in his face sometimes, the annoyance. Like if he had any balls at all he'd tell 'em all to go fuck themselves.

But that ain't Jack. No, sir, good ol' Jack'll listen to all your problems and prescribe you something nice to take it all away. All these people really need's a good shrink. Tell them it's all in their imagination. Tell 'em to get over it and start dealing. Start making a shelter and stop whinin' about how they ain't got hot water for a shower. Don't see me complaining. 'Course, not like anyone'd give a damn about me. They don't need balls to tell me to fuck myself, just the safe distance where I can't snatch out and choke 'em for it.

Tonight he's layin' out in the sand across from Freckles in front of the fire. The two of them make me wanna hurl sometimes. Just them giving each other googley eyes and smilin' and shit. Like they're on Gilligan's Island and if she just put enough into that pout he'd bend over backwards for her. 'Course, he does. Makes me wanna hurl more.

God damn it's hot out. I can see sweat rolling down both their chins in their sleep. I can't sleep. If sleep came easy I wouldn't notice the stupid shit on this island, like the fact that Tracy's sleepin' with Scott and Michael has the hots for Sun. Maybe if this girl'd stop chasing after the oblivious doctor I could have someone to occupy my nights.

Jack moans and it sound serious. Normally I'd just kick him, because it seems like the fun thing to do. Kick him and run off and leave him and Freckles to wonder about what had just happened. Hell, enough weird shit happens on this island to let people believe psychotic things with no basis.

But instead, I make my way over to him and crouch down near him, watching his eyebrows crease painfully as he balls his fists tighter at his sides, digging the left into the sand. I know I have nightmares. I got a long list of dirty secrets that keep me awake at night, but Doc? He opens his eyes quickly and catches me. A smirk passes across his lips and I flare my nose in annoyance, letting myself fall back into the soft sand there, not bothering to cover.

"You were havin' a nightmare," I tell him. It's a stupid thing to say, don't mean nothing, but it lets him know clear why I was standing so close. Not that I was concerned, only… I was. Never seem him look like that before, like there was something haunting him.

He nods his head and doesn't look me in the eye, which bothers me. Don't like when people avoid my eyes, means they ain't tellin' me something. Can't stand being left in the dark. Can't stand other people's secrets. Which, I guess, is hypocritical, but I don't care.

"Wanna talk about it?" I offer before I know what I'm doing. I cock my head to the side and lay my arms on my knees, watching the way he lifts his head just slightly off the backpack he's using as a pillow. There's a look of curiosity in his eyes that amuses me. Sure, Doc, the big jerk can give a shit if he wants to

"Just a nightmare," Jack responds, letting his head fall back as he stares up at the night sky. Can't make out the constellations. No one can really. Might be easier to figure out where the hell we were if someone could. "When I was a kid, I used to have this recurring nightmare about my parents leaving me in Macy's."

I listen, wondering what kind of parents he had. "Did they ever do that?"

He shakes his head, his eyes scanning my face, trying to decide what I'm thinking. Am I gonna use it against him if he tells me? Come on, Doc, I wanna tell him. "No, they didn't." He affirms "But it didn't stop the nightmares," he adds with a smile as he puts his hands on his stomach and plays with them, intertwining his fingers and then pulling them away.

"Sounds like you have abandonment issues there, Doc." I chuckle softly and it carries on the night air, mingling with his own contribution of a few soft grunts of amusement.

"I didn't say that was the nightmare I was having," he admits.

I shrug my shoulders. Did it really matter? Doesn't change facts, slick. "So, what nightmare were you having?" I find myself curious now. What would Jack be afraid of? What could I whisper in his ear just before nightfall that would have him tossing and turning all night. Why am I thinkin' 'bout whisperin' in his ear? My lip curls in frustration, but he doesn't take notice. He just throws a glance over the fire at her sleeping form. "Nightmare about Freckles?" I ask quietly.

He shakes his head, and I can't help but think he feels caught. Like I wasn't supposed to notice him looking. "What do you have nightmares about, Sawyer?" He stretches out my name, making it sound condescending and I narrow my eyes at him slightly in annoyance. It makes him grin.

"I don't sleep long enough to have nightmares," I tell him matter-of-factly.

Jack shakes his head. "No, I've seen you sleep."

"You watchin' me sleep, Doc?" I tease.

He sits up. "You're watching me."

It feels like a dare. I love dares. They push you to limits you didn't think you had and then drive you right over, with just the right raise of an eyebrow or the beginnings of a smirk. So I let my head swing back slowly, feeling my hair brush against my neck in that way that gives me goose bumps. "Alright, Doc, I have nightmares about the plane crash."

"That's normal," he says with a shrug, his eyes traveling from the sand to my face and back again. "Did you see what happened?"

"I closed my eyes," I admit, a grin breaking out on my face. "Never was one for thrill rides."

He laughs, trying to muffle it with his right hand as he leans the left on his knee. "I passed out."

"Good for you, Doc," I let him know. It wasn't exactly the best ten minutes of my life. Jack glances over at Kate and I wonder what he's thinkin'. Wonder how she fared in the crash. Eyes wide open probably. Just her nature. Bet she was too chicken shit to look back when the tail popped off though. Jack laughs again and looks up at me.

"I was having that nightmare. My parents left me in Macy's."

"Liar," I tell him, but my heart ain't in it.

Nodding his head, Jack stares at the ground, at a few sea shells he's managed to group together into a pile. "I'm in the store and I turn around and they're gone. No one's there. I shout for them and no one answers. Only now." He pauses and throws a hand up. "Now the store turns into the jungle and the… whatever it is… it just starts coming through the trees."

He's staring at the fire now and I can see the flames in the reflection of his eyes. I wonder if he's gonna cry. I never was good at people crying around me. Usually I just say all the wrong things and they forget what they were crying for in the first place, which is good, but then they're just mad at me. So I stay quiet and watch him take a deep breath through his nostrils. "Should get some sleep, eh Doc?"

Jack nods his head and lays his head back down. I glance over at Freckles, watching her sleeping calmly and wonder what she has nightmares about. The thought don't last long though 'cause Doc's mumbling in his sleep. Can't quite make out what he's saying, but I can tell it's bothering him. Having nightmares again. Reaching a hand out, I sweep away a new layer of sweat that's building up on his forehead and his chest rises quickly, then deflates and he calms.

"No more nightmares," I tell him quietly, lighting up a cigarette. I stand before his next breath is taken and walk away, as far from the fire as I can get before my eyes start drooping and I shack up for the night behind the landing gear of the plane. No more nightmares, I chuckle to myself. It'd be a grand thing.

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Finis 


End file.
